The ABCs of Joy: How Adversity, Belonging and Curiosity Lead to a Fuller Life

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Young people today have more technology, more convenience and more connectivity than any generation before them. Yet many are struggling with anxiety, loneliness and a growing sense of dissatisfaction in their lives. The problem may be that most people have confused happiness with something deeper, and that’s joy, said Baylor University education researcher Jon Eckert, Ed.D.

Data published by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that approximately one in two 12th grade girls is not satisfied with herself, and one in three 12th grade boys is not satisfied with himself.

"We are in a happiness crisis. Kids are pursuing what they think is happiness, but they're doing it through ways that don't actually lead to happiness. Joy is different. It's deeper. It's this sense of enduring love and gratitude for others that will emerge through struggle." - Jon Eckert, Ed.D.

“We are in a happiness crisis. Kids are pursuing what they think is happiness, but they're doing it through ways that don't actually lead to happiness,” Eckert said. "Joy is different. It's deeper. It's this sense of enduring love and gratitude for others that will emerge through struggle."

Through years of research, Eckert identified what he calls the ABCs of Joy – Adversity, Belonging and Curiosity – finding that adversity builds belonging, and belonging cultivates curiosity. These ABCs of Joy, he said, can help people move beyond circumstantial happiness toward a more meaningful and enduring life.

“I work with school leaders from all over the world and find that when people believe joy is durable and grounded in lives lived for and with others, those same people often realize the depth of their struggle determines the peak of their joy,” Eckert said. 

Adversity

In a culture that often treats struggle as something to avoid, Eckert argues that adversity is essential to joy.

"A lot of times the most joyful people we know have had really hard lives because life can be hard and joyful," Eckert said. "Oftentimes, the depth of our struggle will determine the peak of our joy."

Eckert believes that when parents, teachers and coaches remove every obstacle from a young person's path, they may unintentionally prevent them from experiencing the growth that comes from overcoming challenges.

"If we rob kids of the chance to struggle, then we also rob them of the chance to experience that kind of joy," Eckert said. “And I'm very clear, it's not trauma that we want for kids; it's adversity. We want them to do hard things and grow from the experience.” 

Belonging

If adversity is where joy begins, belonging is where it grows. Drawing on flourishing research, Eckert said people may succeed independently, but they cannot truly flourish alone. Belonging is rooted in relationships where people know they are valued and supported.

“Belonging is the knowledge that we matter to others, and they matter to us, which is knowledge we gain by going through hard things together,” Eckert said. “We may enjoy the fun-loving, carefree friend, but we need the person who shows up when things are hard.”

At a time when much of life has moved online, that truth has become increasingly important. Social media and digital platforms offer constant connectivity, but they often fail to provide the deeper relationships people need. The strongest relationships are often forged through shared challenges, and those relationships not only provide support during difficult times, Eckert said, but also create opportunities for joy.

Curiosity

Eckert believes belonging and curiosity are closely connected. When people feel secure in who they are, and in their relationships, they are more willing to engage those whose experiences, beliefs and backgrounds differ from their own. 

Because of online algorithms and digital echo chambers, many people limit meaningful engagement with people who hold different perspectives and tend to automatically dismiss those who hold ideas or opinions they disagree with. 

"We've become incurious as a society,” Eckert said. “How do we allow our joy and our love for others to overcome that incuriosity and seek out others? Those are the people that we should want to engage because that's what makes life more interesting."

Curiosity is also essential to learning. While grades, degrees and career goals can motivate behavior, genuine learning begins with a desire to know more.

"The only real form of intrinsic motivation for learning is curiosity," Eckert said. “Everything else is just delayed gratification.”

Joy is more than happiness

Eckert challenges the way many people, especially young people, think about happiness. Social media has fundamentally changed the way many young people evaluate their own lives by encouraging constant comparison with curated versions of others’ experiences. 

"If your happiness is normative and it's compared to other people, you're always going to lose on this," he said.

Ultimately, Eckert believes the path forward is not found in comfort or convenience but in embracing the ABCs of Joy.

When adversity is met with belonging and curiosity, young people can discover something far more durable than happiness: a joyful life marked by resilience, meaningful relationships and a deeper understanding of themselves and others.

"Joy is not freedom from struggle," he said. "Joy is the fuel that allows us to struggle well.”

ABOUT JON ECKERT, ED.D. 

Jon Eckert, Ed.D., is professor of educational leadership and The Lynda and Robert Copple Endowed Chair for Christians in School Leadership in Baylor University’s Moody School of Education. He leads the Baylor Center for School Leadership, and serves as program director of Baylor’s M.A. in School Leadership and assistant chair of the Department of Educational Leadership. 

Eckert’s research interests include collective leadership, teaching effectiveness, evaluation and strategic compensation to enhance that effectiveness, and science education. He has conducted research for the U.S. Department of Education, the Carnegie Foundation, the National Network of State Teachers of the Year, the National Institute for Excellence in Teaching and the Center for Teaching Quality, which he has published in numerous peer-reviewed journals and presented around the world.

Eckert is the author of several books, including “Just Teaching: Feedback, Engagement, and Well-being for Each Student,” “Leading Together: Teachers and Principals Improving Student Outcomes,” and the soon-to-be-released “The Happiness Crisis: How Adversity Can Build a Resilient and Joyful Next Generation.” 

ABOUT BAYLOR UNIVERSITY 

Baylor University is a private Christian University and a nationally ranked Research 1 institution. The University provides a vibrant campus community for 20,000 students by blending interdisciplinary research with an international reputation for educational excellence and a faculty commitment to teaching and scholarship. Chartered in 1845 by the Republic of Texas through the efforts of Baptist pioneers, Baylor is the oldest continually operating University in Texas. Located in Waco, Baylor welcomes students from all 50 states and more than 100 countries to study a broad range of degrees among its 12 nationally recognized academic divisions. Learn more about Baylor University at www.baylor.edu.  

ABOUT BAYLOR MOODY SCHOOL OF EDUCATION 

For more than 100 years, the Moody School of Education has advanced Baylor University’s mission across the globe while preparing students for a range of careers focused on education, leadership, and human development. With more than 70 full-time faculty members, the School’s growing research portfolio complements its long-standing commitment to excellence in teaching and student mentoring. Baylor’s undergraduate program in teacher education has earned national distinction for innovative partnerships with local schools that provide future teachers deep clinical preparation. Likewise, the School of Education’s graduate programs have attained national recognition for their exemplary preparation of research scholars, educational leaders, innovators, and clinicians. Visit the Moody School of Education website to learn more.